(Ages are approximate, and every family is unique, so tweak this list so it fits your values and lifestyle.)

Help children do the following, at age . . .

Five and under:

• Comfortably hold bugs; gently catch (and release) frogs and fireflies.
• Express gratitude for food, toys, and gifts.
• Make homemade cards and thank-you notes.
• Choose clothes and get dressed; brush teeth and wash face.
• Help with household tasks, including cooking, cleaning, laundry, and pet and plant care.
• Begin mastery of shoe tying, coat zipping, buttoning, bike riding,
• swimming, skating.
• Learn own name, parents’ full names, address, and phone number.
• Know at least six short songs by heart.

Six to nine:

• Safely ride bicycle in town, and load bike onto city bus.
• Build a fire and roast tofu or chicken hot dogs over flames, or potatoes in the coals.
• Learn more homemaking skills, simple meal prep, knife use, and proper composting.
• Make homemade gifts (such as candles, simple jewelry, artwork).
• Make simple household cleaners from vinegar, baking soda, and water.
• Assess whether clothes truly need washing/machine drying.
• Count money, give change. Manage allowance. Save for longer-term goals.
• Know how to get help in an emergency (neighbors to contact, calling 911).
• Learn to listen to and comfort others who are sad, angry, or hurt.
• Play an instrument (even a kazoo, recorder, or bongo drum) and/or sing a lot; dance regularly.
• Meet with or write letters to school principal, mayor, or representatives about key issues.

Ten to fourteen:

• Safely handle kitchen knives, pocket knives, matches, and lighters.
• Know several rope knots.
• Plan and prepare a meal with protein and veggies; broil or bake foods.
• Read food and cosmetic labels; understand which ingredients harm human, animal, or planetary health.
• Use basic hand tools: hammer a nail, drive a screw, use wire cutters and pliers.
• Take a babysitting course and/or lifeguard class; learn basic first aid and CPR.
• Start getting work experience (paid or volunteer); keep saving money.
• Be comfortable stating or negotiating fair pay rate for jobs, such as babysitting or pet care.
• Compare quality and prices when shopping; be able to calculate unit prices.
• Oil bicycle chain and fill bike tire.
• Take spiders outside comfortably.
• Detect when any kind of food is spoiled.
• Make some foods from scratch (such as muffins, cookies, granola, soup).
• Understand uses of medicine and the dangers of misuse or overuse.
• Make simple projects (like napkins or cloth gift bags) on a sewing machine.
• Testify at city council or public hearing about a local issue they care about.
• Know the signs of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health risks.
• Make good eye contact with adults during conversations.
• Take a class in reproduction, sexual education, and self-care.
• Get daily exercise inside or outdoors.
• Type proficiently; be able to search internet without distraction from click-bait.
• Be able to play three songs on a ukulele, guitar, or piano while others sing along.

Fifteen to seventeen:

• Clean refrigerator, defrost freezer, change vacuum cleaner bag, clean stove, unclog drains.
• Change flat bike tire, perform basic maintenance, install fenders and lights.
• Charge an electric car or fill car with gas; perform basic maintenance.
• Develop zero tolerance for texting or drinking while driving.
• Clean a cut or scrape and bandage it, treat a burn, wrap a sprain.
• Safely light a gas stove or oven or outdoor grill with a match.
• Hang a framed picture.
• Manage money: understand fraud protection and balance checkbook.
• Buy and bargain for used items.
• Find credible information sources; critique news and develop media literacy.
• Set healthy limits with screen use, including ample nightly brain rest (phones off nine-plus hours).
• Prepare a resume; interview for and get a job.
• Volunteer or regularly do nice things for others, such as help unload elderly neighbors’ groceries.
• Reset an electrical breaker, turn off water main, stop a running toilet, unstop clogged toilet.
• Learn about healthy sexuality, and about what consent looks and feels like.
• Memorize one song from another culture.

Eighteen and up:

• Earn money, manage running of a household, manage personal finances.
• Manage school and work deadlines; find healthy balance of work life and social life.
• Develop good self-care habits; use exercise, sleep, and mindfulness tools to avoid stress.
• Safely conduct Craigslist (or eBay, 5miles, Poshmark, or Kiiboo) transactions, and rideshares and car hires.
• Understand apartment lease and other contracts, such as for rentals like Zipcars.
• Understand interest rates and the serious implications of consumer debt or student debt.
• Comfortably speak with doctors, professors, bike mechanics, landlords, clerks, farmers.
• Navigate a campus or a new town.
• Take risks, handle personal problems with compassionate communication skills.
• Know our constitutional rights; know what to do in case of police encounter or arrest.
• Register to vote, learn about social issues from reputable sources.
• Vote.
• Memorize one love poem.